Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

     FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Sharpen your pencils and grab your loose-leaf notebooks.  It's the "back to school" edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  On this episode, the boys tackle Jesse Spano's horrible drug problem, Patty Mayonnaise's slutty behavior, and Max Landis' ego.
Speaking of schooling, Matt and DJ also pay up on a debt and discuss the high school spy film Barely Lethal, starring Oscar nominees Hailee Steinfeld and Samuel L. Jackson...yes...nothing in that sentence was made up.
Bill Cosby, Jared, Kanye, Miley...all get a little ribbing on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes
Wes Craven
Jesse Spano freakout
Patti Mayonnaise
Tommy Wiseau & Fantastic 4
Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Saved By The Bell Theme Song
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
Game Of Thrones Remix
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi
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                                                    FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Alright!  Alright!  The world can keep on spinning, cuz The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back!  The irreverency level of the podcasting universe has just gone up as the boys barrel back into the world of movies and television once again.  First they catch up with some of the stuff they missed with our annual segment Can You Dig It.   Then the boys do a postmortem of True Detective Season 2 and sell Justin on the USA Network Show Mr. Robot.   The boom boxes are held high to close off the show as they once again play the game Simply Say Anything.
Hulk Hogan is dealt with, Sesame Street is repurposed, Hateful 8 is dismissed for legal reason, and The Fantastic Four is laughed at...all on this return episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes
Shrimp Hands
Hulk Hogan Racist
Skyfall Target Practice
Bad Apocalypse
Roddy Piper Coconut
Ian Malcolm Lecture
Music Notes
Get Up Offa That Thing By James Brown
In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel
Can You Dig It By Illmind
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi
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A secret agent is murdered! 
Can his son, a high school gymnast, along with a spy catch the man/woman who killed him? 
Team up with DJ and Justin to find out on the next Monday Night Movie Night!
Never Too Young To Die
92 mins / Action / 1986
Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest. 
Watch along with the film HERE
Taglines to tickle your fancy!
Stargrove: the new American hero.
Vanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero!
At the age of 18, every government agency wanted him... dead or alive.
He inherited all his father's enemies and only one of his friends.
Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style.

We are back again for another Monday Night
Movie Night!
After that big 50th episode we took a bit of a break and sat down to watch the 1986 classic Back to School. We figured a few laughs was in order since a murder took place on that last podcast.
Back to School
96 mins / Comedy / 1986
"To help his discouraged son get through college, a fun-loving and obnoxious rich businessman decides to enter the school as a student himself."
Music Notes
Back to School - Jude Cole
Twist and Shout - Rodney Dangerfield
Back To School - Oingo Boingo

 
FOR (MOSTLY) IMMATURE AUDIENCES
Normal podcasts usually hit their 50th podcast roughly before their first year of existence.  Good podcasts that pump out constant content on a normal basis won't even make a big deal about their 50th podcast.  Superior podcasts will look at what we're doing and probably scoff at our sheer ineptitude to barely put out a single podcast every month.  Well, it's a good thing that we are neither normal, good, and...well...the only time we've been called superior is when we show up to our parole hearings on time.  Come to think of it, I better call Justin, I haven't heard from him in a while.
With that being said, get ready for some "high"-jinks as DJ, Justin, and Matt celebrate in style with the 50th edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  There will be laughs galore as the guys invite, or some might say "force", guests from other more well-received podcasts to share in their debauchery.  Guests like JD Duran from the Insession Film Podcast. Barry and Jairo from the homo"neurotic" True Bromance Podcast.  Let's not forget, damn I forgot his name...oh yeah...The Vern, from the As You Watch Podcast.  Throw in a touch of Tim Costa from The First Time Watchers Podcast, Elwood from The Depths of DVD Hell, and a guest so special and so...well...scary, that even I can't tell you who it is.
Oh, so you're not impressed with that guest list?  Well, how about the thrilling conclusion to our months long saga of Julie and her quest to kill the Simplistic Reviews guy?  Yeah, you forgot about that didn't you?  Well...yeah...now you're gonna get some closure.
Finally, we talk a trip back in time to the segment that put us on the map; Word Association with Justin, where we ask Justin about things in the news and he gives a monosyllabic answer.
All that, and so much more on this petty way to celebrate mediocrity with The Simplistic Review Podcast's 50th episode.  Oh, by the way, the show is like 3 hours long, but what else are you going to do, watch the extended cut of "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King?"  Hmmmm, wait, that actually does sound like a good idea.
Show Notes
Insession Film Podcast
As You Watch Podcast
From The Depths of DVD Hell & MBDS Showcase
True Bromance Podcast
First Time Watchers Podcast
Life Vs. Film
Music Notes
Back to the Future Theme By Alan Silvestri
Inside the Actors Studio Theme By Angelo Badalamenti
It's A Shame By The Spinners
I Dream Of Jeanie Remix
Time By Jungle
Liar Liar By The Castaways
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
Soy Bomb By Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives 
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Allen Toussaint
Vince McMahon Theme By Jim Johnston and  Peter Bursuker
Dynasty Theme By Bill Conti

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
This is it! The penultimate episode before 50th episode extravaganza!
You'll swoon for June as the boys discover that there is no safe joke to be made about Caitlyn Jenner.  They instead decide to tackle stories such as a Big Trouble In Little China reboot, a Jack Bauer spinoff, and a James Bond free for all on Simplistic Showcase.  Justin and DJ later pay off a debt and discuss the 2014 horror anomaly that is Ouija.  A conversation that introduces not one, not two, but three new characters.  There is also the introduction of an old game played in a new way known as Simplistic Password.  And The ongoing mystery between the boys and Julie reaches its climax.
Oh and Shia Labeouf closes out the show.
All this and more on a highly questionable, slightly offensive, Smokey and the Bandit themed episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
5:23 - Simplistic Showcase
37:31 - A Simplistic Reviewer Always Pays His Debts
57:35 - Simplistic Password
Show Notes
Mr. Bucket
Shia Labeouf Rant
Ouija
Caitlyn Jenner
A Different World
Night Court
Smokey and the Bandit
Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
The Stakes Is High By De La Soul
Game Of Thrones Remix By TDubb 
Eastbound And Down By Jerry Reed
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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
It's Monday 
Movie Night
Movie Commentary!
Police Academy 2: 
Their First Assignment
1985 / Comedy / 87 mins
We already watched the classic Police Academy. 
So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.
Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.
So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.
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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
In honor of Mother's Day, The Simplistic Reviews Podcast has assembled their regular team of badass motherf*%kers to ring in the month of May. They touch on Suicide Squad...they touch on the Joss Whedon haters...they touch on Tom Brady's balls...all in an effort to entertain you.  So sit back, give it a listen, and say hello to your mother for me.
6:37 Simplistic Showcase
36:53 TV Roundup
59:44 Hey F*%khead
Also as a special treat...here is an outtake that was too ridiculous not to share with the world
Show Notes
Redrum
Ally McBeal
Andy Kaufman
Lord Humongous
Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
The Great Escape Theme By Paul Bateman
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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
You might be asking yourself, "What?! Another Simplistic Reviews Podcast?  You mean these guys are actually getting off of their ass and putting out content for the public to consume?"  Yes, it might sound crazy, but.....uh....yeah....another podcast....from us.....Simplistic Reviews.
As we get closer and closer to our grandest episode so far; Number 50, we look back at our lives and search for meaning, apparently that means we bring up Bill Cosby again, the fact that Iceman is now gay, Donatello is dead, and fantasize about Moira Quirk in that sexy referee outfit...mmmmmm.....
All this, and our newest segment, Simply Say Anything, where we hold a radio over our head and praise the likes of Lena Dunham, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, and explain why Quentin Tarantino is actually the worst director in modern cinema.  Have we lost our minds.....maybe....but we're not telling, and you'll just have to listen to this month's SIMPLISTIC REVIEWS PODCAST!!!!  WHY AM I YELLING...IN PRINT?!?!?!
  SHOW NOTES
Moira Quirk
Spider-man Shortlist
Tarantino in Sleep With Me
Donny is Dead
Iceman Gay?
Mark Summers' non-Double Dare accident
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel
Nickelodeon GUTS theme
Human Beings By Van Halen
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Movie Commentary Time!
Slaughter High
1986 - 90 mins - Slasher/Horror
Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, "It's finally here!" Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.
Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it's got its issues.
Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven't this is the perfect time to watch!
Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!
Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!