Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

Happy 30th Anniversary to the #Fantasia Film Festival! We're back to break down our ultimate watchlists for this year, and the lineup is absolutely unhinged. From a reanimated grandma ruining an Italian Christmas dinner to an evil dinosaur trapping kids, we're covering the high-octane horror and some deeply questionable cinematic choices.
Check out the full list of features and shorties we talked about below. Which one of these are you sick enough to watch? Drop it in the comments! 👇
Features & DocumentariesSamurai and the PrisonerLast Temptation of BeckyColonyBuddyLos VampiresBowels of HellRubberheadAttack on ParadiseUnholy NightTight LettucePenny Lane is DeadSour MinnowsTeenage Sex andDeath Camp MiasmaGodhead
ShortiesTeeth Don't Have SexShitting a PenisPaper Towel MaxipadMan Eat PussyI'm in Love with a StripperFuck FaceFinger Bang
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On a sweltering Summer edition of the Simplistic Reviews podcast, the boys discuss Zendaya as Jason Bourne. They talk about the California-accented version of the Odyssey. And delve into the pockets of some of Hollywood's greatest directors. All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast. 

We interrupt this Cannon Summer program to bring you boobs, boobs, and sorcery.
 
Sorceress | 1995An aspiring law partner's (Larry Poindexter) wife (Julie Strain) tries to eliminate her husband's rival, but his spouse is an expert at witchcraft.https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111244/
 
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#MovieCommentary #WatchAlong #90s #BadMovies #Sorceress #commentary #podcast #action

Why pay $20 for a movie ticket when Hollywood just uploaded the entire plot, the twist villain, AND the third-act explosion to YouTube for free? 🎬🍿
Welcome back to Rant Corner on Simplistic Reviews! Today, my blood pressure is spiking over the absolute brain-rot of modern movie marketing. Apparently, studio executives think our TikTok-fried attention spans can't handle a little mystery anymore, so they spoon-feed us the whole damn movie in 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
We break down the excruciating "Modern Trailer Formula" and roast the Hollywood suits who actually cry to the press about box office bombs. Fuck, Brad, maybe people would buy tickets if you didn't show us the climax.
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#theboys #finale #Funny #comedy Rant Corner: The Series Finale Whining Epidemic
Are you still crying about The Boys finale? Did you ask ChatGPT to rewrite the ending so you could finally get some sleep? Then this episode is dedicated to YOU.
Welcome back to another episode of Rant Corner on the Simplistic Reviews network. Today, I am absolutely losing my mind over the internet's total inability to handle a TV show ending.
Instead of rioting over Netflix raising prices for the hundredth time or the fact that every movie is a boring reboot, people are having full-blown meltdowns because a showrunner didn't validate their deranged shower fan-fiction. We're calling out the couch showrunners, the "critics" on X, and everyone else who desperately needs to find a hobby.
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Radical Jack might be connected to the events of 9/11...might be. A friend of a friend heard there was a tragic event that happen the year before. Billy Ray, never forget. 
 
Radical Jack | 2000Since his wife died on a failed mission, CIA agent and former Navy SEAL Jack Reynolds (Billy Ray Cyrus) has lost interest in just about everything. He's lured back to work, however, when given the chance to go undercover in small-town Vermont to shut down a ring of gun smugglers. Jack rolls into town, finds work and romance at the local bar, and starts busting heads -- but gun runners Lloyd (George "Buck" Flower) and Rolland (Noah Blake) aren't going down without a fight. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212458/
 
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#billyray #MovieCommentary #WatchAlong #2000s #BadMovies #radicaljack #commentary #podcast #action

The gang watches the new John Travolta film and wonders, The fuck was that?
 
#apple #trailer #reaction
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It's May. Which means it's the Simplistic Reviews Podcast's annual Star Wars show! This episode is jam packed with nothing but wall to wall, beginning to end, Star Wars content that would make Kathleen Kennedy blush. Prequel talk, Disney Star Wars Sequel talk(insults). Games involving everything from a beaver engineer to a firespray STD. All that and more in this Force sensitive episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. 

Lance Henriksen, James Earl Jones, Tony Todd, Burt Young and Connecticut's most famous movie star Thomas Ian Griffith.
Need we say more...oh 90s action that bomb at box office. Pop that VHS in Mr. Terry Silver!
 
Excessive Force | 1983
Chicago policeman Terry McCain (Thomas Ian Griffith) is determined to put away mobster Sal DiMarco (Burt Young), who always gets acquitted on technicalities. While monitoring a drug sale, a shootout ensues, and one of Terry's fellow officers gets away with $3 million of Sal's money. Suspecting Terry took the cash, the mobster sends his men to kill Terry's brother, Dylan (Tom Hodges), and partner, Frankie Hawkins (Tony Todd). Furious, Terry sets out to take his revenge by any means necessary.https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104215/
 
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#ExcessiveForce #MovieCommentary #WatchAlong #90sAction #BadMovies #ThomasIanGriffith #CinemaCourt #RantCorner #commentary #podcast

RantCorner: The Next Generation 🍺An oldie but a goody is back! Welcome to the revived RantCorner. We are pissed, we desperately need to de-piss ourselves, and we are hoping you can help.
Today, we are taking aim at the "second screen" phenomenon and what it's actively doing to the entertainment world. Spoiler alert: it's absolute bullshit. It is impossible to appreciate actual cinematic storytelling or dive deep into media commentary when half the audience is scrolling their feeds during the climax of a movie.
Grab a beer, pull up a chair, and let's bitch.
What We're Venting About TodayThe Attention Span Crisis: Why nobody seems capable of watching just one screen at a time anymore.
The Death of Immersion: How looking down at a phone entirely ruins the atmosphere, pacing, and tension of a good story.
Industry Pandering: How studios are actively changing the way they produce entertainment to compete with the distraction in your hand.
Join the Vent SessionLet it all out in the comments—what is pissing you off the most about the second-screen epidemic?
If you need to de-piss yourself regularly, make sure to hit Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a rant. Cheers! 🍻 
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